"I'm here because I understand"
Brenda Vargas, our Rapid Re-housing Program Manager, is living her dream every day. “When I finished college, all I wanted to do was work in a homeless shelter,” she says.
However, Brenda’s life has not been easy. Throughout October, we’ve been sharing stories of domestic violence survivors and today, we’re sharing the story of one of our own team members.
When she was a young wife and mother, Brenda was raped on the roof of a building near her home. Afraid to testify in court, she did not press charges. Sadly, she found more trauma at home when her husband forced her to be physically intimate against her will shortly after the rape occurred. This behavior continued, with Brenda telling her husband that what he was doing to her was also rape.
Brenda realized she couldn’t take it any longer and divorced him. After the divorce, her ex-husband came to her home, beat her up, constrained her with duct tape, and threatened her with a knife. Their 15-year-old son walked in and “saved my life,” says Brenda. After the incident, he went on the run, until their son found him and turned him in.
After serving time, he was released on probation and came back for Brenda, attacking her again, this time using a belt to choke her. Her daughter saw the bruises on her neck and reported her father, who went to prison again. A few years ago, he committed suicide.
At various points in her life, Brenda has suffered from depression, turned to self-harm, and even contemplated suicide. She felt like she was in a better place when she met her second husband, but soon after they got married, he was diagnosed with cancer and became very verbally abusive towards Brenda. “I decided I wasn’t going to take any more abuse, I didn’t care if he was sick or not. So, I decided to divorce him,” says Brenda. Later forgiving him, she was with him in the hospital when he was on his deathbed.
Having a hard time processing the trauma and loss in their lives, Brenda’s son and daughter turned to drugs, self-harm, and theft when growing up. Today, they are both doing well and have beautiful children of their own.
Brenda has put in a lot of work to heal over the years, with her faith being an important part of her process and giving her an incredible perspective:
“If it wasn’t for all of the pain, I wouldn’t be where I am today. If I hadn’t been through all of the hurt, I wouldn’t understand my clients today. So, I feel like I’m here for a purpose. I’m not here because it’s a job to me…I’m here because I understand.”
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